My body chemistry completely clashes with a gorgeous iridescent bottle of perfume that I have. So I'm selling it on Craigslist for $2. (I like my cluttery stuff to move fast so I price it cheap.) I get this e-mail that says "Please call (phone number) with the craigslist listing reference in the subject line. Call me crazy, but I'm not interested in talking on the phone for $2. If it's that hard for you to set up a time in e-mail, then you don't need that bottle of perfume. I ABHOR talking on the phone. If you knew me in middle school or high school, you'd call me a liar for saying so. But it's true. Something snapped. Maybe it was too many long, uncomfortable pauses I had to sit through. Maybe it was too many phone conversations with people who thrive on confrontation and being exhausting to communicate with. All I know is I will do all in my power to stay the hell off of the phone. If you're a phone-lover and do the majority of your communication on them, we probably can't be friends anymore. If you're an e-mailer or a texter, we may be soul-mates. I like face-to-face friendships. I like them even more when a mug full of rich, dark, chicory is involved. My point is - I like anything that doesn't have to do with telephones. I don't invest in my cell phone. I don't have fancy covers, I don't buy the latest smart phone. I have never owned an Iphone and I'm pretty sure I couldn't call 9-1-1 from one! I hate phones. 

I do have a rug on craigslist. It's listed at 75 bucks and I'm gonna sell it to a delightful woman who prefers to text and e-mail. I'll probably even knock a great deal of money off the price just to encourage her efforts of being incommunicado via telephone. I would probably call this woman if she had requested it. $75 is a good deal of money to a girl like me. It's worth a short call. But please, please - don't be so presumptuous to think I'm gonna call you in order to sell you a full bottle of Tommy Bahama for $2. I shouldn't lift a finger beyond typing my address, a time to pick up, and to turn the doorknob when you ring the bell. 

I know phones have their place. I do. I just don't choose to go there.