Monday, February 7, 2011

I thought we were in this together.

Here's how I look at the world, flawed as it may be:

We're just a bunch of humans and we don't really know what the big picture is. If we have faith, we believe in a higher power and that serving this higher power will please it and we will be okay.
We meander. We nest. We procreate. And if we're fortunate, we evolve into better beings.
This world - it's not an easy place to navigate. We have moods and insecurities. We need one another to witness our lives. Desperately.

We are in this together. Thank GOD! (Or whatever higher power you believe in!)

So I don't understand why there is so much anger, backstabbing, hatred, abuse....

I don't understand why my twelve year old cannot attend school without being physically assaulted. This past week it was a slap... if you can call it that. To explain it, a slap is normally an open hand that lands on the side of the face and covers a cheek. What happened to my kid was an open hand 'slap' - if you will - to the middle of the face. It was hard enough that my daughter's nose was swollen.

The girl who was kind enough to administer this blow is a girl who has had no luck bringing my daughter to tears by calling her a "transvestite," explaining that since the name "Julian" is a boy's name, and "Julianne" is a similar name, it must mean that she is a boy. And the girl gets in her face and screams "Fight me! Fight me, !#$@!" And this girl's "posse" chases Julianne. Julianne has plenty of friends, too. And they've seen this stuff and they don't like it either.

I had a visit with the principal today. We didn't want to even bother. After last year's dealings with St. Helen Catholic School's administration, we've learned that we'd just rather call the police and file charges. It'd be easier.
The principal did seem concerned. She acknowledged that the 'slapper' had confessed later in the questioning. And she promised that a zero tolerance policy existed and that the 'slapper' would be punished. We did give her the background from last year so she could understand our hesitance in allowing the school a chance to impact the situation and our expectation that it be handled or that we would involve law enforcement. (We just don't play anymore!)

And I know there are people with the attitude "Yeah, girls do that at this age. No big deal."
So my daughter should walk into a school (where I'm told you're supposed to learn), and she should expect to have physical harm come to her. Because that's just what girls do? Really?
I suppose I should lower my standards and teach my children that abusing another person is okay to do. Apparently the general thought is that 'girls do this at this age.'
Wow. My girl doesn't. She doesn't go around hitting people. Or slapping them. I suppose I've failed as a parent because she's not in the normal group of kids who begin their criminal lifestyle in middle school? Bummer. Shame on me for higher standards. Shame on my moral barometer. Maybe we shouldn't expect to walk into the grocery store to buy our produce and walk out. Maybe we should expect to walk in and be beaten to a pulp with a mango? Have a pineapple shoved up our....

...nostril. (Bet you thought I'd say 'ass'!)

Especially when 9 year old kids are committing suicide because they were bullied. Heard about that? It's all over the news.
What about the fact that 'The View' is interviewing children who have survived bullying? NFL football players are coming on the show and presenting gifts to survivors for their bravery in speaking out. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is ranting that the NFL heroes need to get involved and send the message that bullying ISN'T cool afterall.
Heard about it? Check the news.

When I pay taxes (which I'd rather NOT pay), I'm purchasing an education for my child.... and when I've got no children in the public school system and continue to pay taxes, I'm purchasing an education for other children. I would at least hope that those dollars I spend in Round Rock taxes will actually go towards the good of the child, rather than a reason for the child to enter therapy later in life.

And there's also the school of thought  - FRY THEM! Lock 'em up and throw away the key! There are helicopter parents who will never allow their child to attempt to work through these issues on their own. And that is necessary. (And should your child be unable, you must not be so laissez-faire that you will not be bothered. That is a parenting crime.) And as much as the child who has hurt your own causes you to want to rip the hair out of their head, you must act as an adult and not act out. If we are to be christians, we must have compassion. Believe in rehabilitation. Pray that it works and works for the long haul. We must shake off the inclination to judge.

Here's a solution. If there is a child who cannot keep his/her destructive hands off of another child, remove them from the normal population. Mainstream them when they can behave civilized. (Because it is barbaric to hit!) There is no point in allowing them time cause damage to the psyche of the children who thought they were going to class to turn in homework and begin a new lesson.
In a perfect world the normal population should not suffer through the rehabilitation process of an aggressive and abusive personality. In an imperfect world, we should at least not have to CONTINUE to suffer until someone demands the offenders to be rehabilitated. Yes, we must learn to deal with others/other personality types. That's a given.

But if I were to walk into a 7-Eleven and slap the living shit out of another adult, I would be thrown in jail. If I were to chase them back to their car, I'd probably be admitted into Shoal Creek Mental Hospital.

Why are we more interested in protecting adults than CHILDREN who depend on us?

So, in an effort to NOT be part of the problem I am lifting this prayer for the bully, the school admin, and of course tonight will bring a special prayer for my daughter.

Dear Lord,
I humbly come before you in need. There are children hurting, some are hurt at the hand of another child, and some are hurt for reasons I don't know, but are inflicting pain on others. Please fill their hearts with innocent Godly love, fill their souls with hope for a life better than the one they live presently, and cause their anger to fade. Let them feel no need to hurt other children who could be the friends that they might some day lean on.
Allow children who are hurting to feel acceptance, healing, and an understanding that they do not deserve the pain they've been given. Give them peace. Please give them courage to come forth and request the infliction to stop.
Give our leaders, be them in an administrative setting, in office, or in a classroom the knowledge that we are all born with dignity and must be treated as such. It is our God-given birthright of which we have not earned, but deserve all the same. Give them the desire to swiftly end the suffering, and the patience to deal with frustrated parents. When they go home at night, please allow them to sleep well and gain a fresh perspective so that they can be a part of the healing.
Allow families to come together to bring healing to those hurt, and solutions to problems unsolved.
Because this power is yours and yours alone, I bring these issues and lay them at your feet.
Your child,

To no more heart-breaking expressions this week...

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